Welcome to Part V of Mr. Roger’s Return To The Hood – words from Ill Nino’s percussionist Roger Vasquez…It is Friday, December 21st, a mere 4 days before Christmas. Ill Nino is back in NY from their first ever tour of Europe…which means that Roger is back in the hood. So, how was this virgin European experience? Roger’s words are as follows: “Cheers, ya? This is Roger, ya? I’m back in the hood, kickin it live, very happy to be back in the homeland. Although, on the real, Europe has become our second home. In my eyes, everything about Europe was memorable, much like the first time I masturbated – I didn’t know what to expect, but in the end it was all good in the hood, if ya know what I mean… Yo, I wanna drop a big up to Machine Head, those are our true brothers. They gave us mad respect and the knowledge & guidance they showed us was the shit. It will definitely never be forgotten – much love to those brothers. The fans were totally the shit, they were fuckin each other up at shows, much like the Christmas parties at my house when mom brings out pernil and pastelitos…you know that shit is gonna get dogged up. No doubt. All in all, everything about Europe was a memorable moment, BUT, one of the craziest shit to happen to me and my brothers (Ill Nino) was the crazy ass plane ride from Newark to Germany. The Airport – For one, we get to Newark airport straight from the previous show in Detroit, which by the way ruled. Now Newark ain’t the happiest airport in the world right now, know what I’m sayin’? And to have Ill Nino walkin up in there was like bringin hookers to church for confession…It ain’t gonna happen (by the way, Ill Nino don’t like flyin’). After security checks, anal cavity checks, dental checks & bounced checks, they finally decided to let us up in on this bitch. So we’re all loungin’ in the plane, gettin our drink on, waiting for the take-off of what would come to be known as the flight from hell (by the way, Ill Nino don’t like flyin’). The Weather – Did I mention there was a big ass rain storm up in this mother? Shit, Moses could’ve parted the seas with all the water that was droppin’. No doubt. We was lookin at each other wonderin how the hell did we get into this one? Much like when a crack deala gets his cream cropped, you know the brotha is gonna be crazy mad…and this storm was indeed a crack deala (by the way, did I mention Ill Nino don’t like flyin’?). Take-Off – We were in the air not just 2 minutes when this dildo with wings starts vibrating all over the place (turbulence). It was like this bitch just got brand new Energizer batteries, I mean it was squirmin’, and the rain was makin her wet. The Flight – “Make mine a double…as a matter of fact, make everyone’s a double” I was shittin bricks, cement, mortar, you know what I’m sayin…this plane shook for almost 2 hours straight – Mother Nature was pushing all the right buttons on this bitch, and she was squealin. No doubt. After all that craziness, they started servin us food (plane food). It was like eatin G.G. Allin’s underwear…it was not righteous. I passed on the grub. I passed out, all drunk n’ shit. When I woke up, I was in Germany (schiezer). Praise the almighty god Ozzy, we made it down. Europe, thanks once again for the great times and the hospitality – it was well worth the trip. To the Roadrunner staff in Europe, you guys are the shit. And to Machine Head, thanks once again for this experience…can’t wait to see you guys again and share a brown-eye. Next, we’re back out with Kittie. So look out for the madness. Peace in the middle east, Roger ‘Babaloo’ Vasquez” Roger, thanks once again for the update. For the rest of you, know that Ill Nino’s stay at home was brief, as they are back out on the road already with Kittie and Chimaira and come March will be hitting the road with Drowning Pool.